Joanne is not really a baby person. Do not ask her to hold your baby.
JuJuBee did not understand the woman who treats her dog like a baby.
New Peever Erin wrote in last September about baby updates on Twitter.
Nikki dreaded putting the baby to bed. Amy suggested a baby sleep mask.
I bought baby wipes after having sex with my husband.
Michelle dreamt of getting rich off Kenna's cute face.
Michael did not want to hear about baby poop.
Dear fellow classmate from high school:
There is such a thing as TMI on Facebook. I really, really didn't need to know you have a sex swing and you use it frequently.
We have finally gotten the sunroom in the back of the house straightened out. We have lived in this house for almost five years, and this room was used only as pass-through to the backyard or as a place for storage. Shit was everywhere.
So, this year, we really made an effort to clean it out and you know, use it. My husband bought a lovely EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLAR Bistro Set which pissed me off, because you can easily find something just as nice for $250. But that's a whole other peeve.
And now, I find he is using the sunroom as a tool shed once again. WD-40 and a hedge trimmer might be shoved up his ass a little later today.
Erin has been contributing to Reader Peeves for awhile now, and with me sort out of commission due to having a small baby still pretty attached to my body, and with JuJuBee finally quitting for good (she tried a couple times before, but I refused her resignation), I thought it might be time to let Erin have a shot at a permanent place in the roster.
Erin will be posting for the month of July. At the end of the month, I will ask for your opinions about her posts and decide if she will be added to the roster.
Good luck, Erin! I'm looking forward to your peeves.
Dear Boss,
I appreciate nothing more than the fact that you suggest some great idea that I've already suggested to you. I proposed the very thing you talked about in today's meeting to you three months ago with no response from you, but since someone else suggested it to your boss it's a good idea. I said to that someone else that I was putting together a plan so ultimately it is still my goddamn idea!
Also, you've received data. You get on my ass for not focusing on the data. Well, don't quote the data back to me incorrectly.
Finally, we have a process and procedures. Learn them.
Thanks!
Disgruntled
We just got back from a 5 day camping trip at a cost of $121 for the campsite. The grass and weeds were, in some places, a foot high. They made my legs itch and caused me to be generally cranky. Like I need a reason to be cranky. I got cuts on my fingers from trying to yank out the weeds. More crankiness. I'm writing a letter, damnit.
You can tell from the amount of rain that Western New York has received in the last half-hour that I am taking a mini-vacation this weekend to a campground at Findley Lake. The weather is supposed to be better by Saturday, but I am sure the entire grounds will be waterlogged. The kids will have a blast, but I'm going to need a powerwasher to get 'em clean.
I'm trying to push myself a little more in yoga and try things that terrify me force me to risk and grow. So last week's attempt to push myself over from a back bend ended tragically with me getting my legs straight up and then I collapsed before completing this back-walk-over-type move. Result: giant gnarly bruise on my left shoulder that is finally turning yellow and fading. I'm telling horrified observers that someone "Chris Browned" me. It sounds better than the truth: that I am old and dumb.
I know Blaugra already opined on this subject, but I can't take it any more, either...
It is not breaking news when someone moves Michael Jackson's body from one place to another. He's dead, so I don't think it matters to anyone but his family. Put the "breaking news" graphic away, CNN.
Oh, and you could also stop playing one of Jackson's songs EVERY TIME you go to commercial.
I hope that is the end of my comments about Michael Jackson, but if the network and cable news channels don't get back to the real world soon I'll probably blow a gasket.
No matter what I do, my body has decided that for this summer 5:30 in the morning is the appropriate time to wake up. This wouldn't be SO terrible if it also didn't decide that sometime after midnight is the appropriate time to go to sleep.
So, did you guys know that I quit The Peevery? Then I told PM that I would whip up a farewell post? Then I forgot, and then remembered, and then she had the baby and work got crazy for me, and school is out and I am at the end of my rope with things going on and blah blah blah? Ha! Isn't that funny? Isn't that just so typical of me? Hahaha!
So right. I've decided to move over and leave a spot here for someone who can give The Peevery the attention that it deserves. I will miss coming here to peeve, even as infrequently as I did. Peeve on, Peevers. I'll be checking in as often as I can and I will think of you all everytime someone doesn't courtesy flush and everytime someone cuts me off in traffic and everytime someone incorrectly uses the word "literally." Also? Suck it.
Am I one of the few people who is not surprised and not grieving in the wake of Michael Jackson's death? Not to be callous but he didn't exactly want to age.
Also, is there nothing else going on in the world? What happened to Iran?
Here's what the new baby looks like.
So I've been regularly prowling Monster.com and I put in my search criteria to give me job listings for working in employee benefits. It peeves me that I end up with so many job listings for generalist roles because recruiters select everything to target as big a group as possible. (Similar to dating sites where guys tick off all the different body types even though you know full well they only want a specific type.) I don't want to be a generalist. I do not have the skills to be a generalist. (This is not false modesty or low self esteem... I don't have the skills necessary, nor do I want to get them.) I just want a list of benefits jobs. Is this too much to ask for?
My boobs are just too big.
Since (I hope) the Peeve Master is taking a short break from peeving on this site, I thought that this week's Peeves of Yore could focus on her. After all, she did just push a giant 8 pound, 4 ounce, 21.5 inch-long baby out of her hoohaa a few days ago.
Michelle's very first Peeve Post. She was cold.
Michelle changed her name to Peeved Michelle in early '05
Here, she had a deep burning desire abd tells the world what happens when she drinks too much. I CAN'T WAIT FOR BLOGHER. FIRST ROUND IS ON ME!
PM tells Blogger to fuck off. And rips the Web Divas a new asshole.
Some crazy bitch flamed PM on her own blog.
Those are just a few of the hundreds of good peeves that PM has had over the years.
Next week, look in this space for Peeves of Yore - Baby Edition.
I know I'm old because I'm starting to say things like "Where does the time go?". And "My word". And "Where did I put my glasses?" (that are sitting atop my head).
About a week and a half ago I went to my acupuncturist. After everything was done, he left a needle in the top of my head. No big deal. I pulled it out and dropped it in the sharps container and left. This week he left all 8 - 10 needles that he put in my right leg in. Sometimes I can't tell when he has pulled the needles out so I thought "oh I must not have noticed." I flexed my leg to begin crawling off the table and realized that tearing feeling I was feeling was a sign the needles were still in. I kind of chuckled to myself thinking hmm... how to handle and he heard me and came in and removed them. He was very apologetic. But seriously, it was all the needles in the leg that I'm seeking treatment for. It isn't like the one needle in my head which is for relaxation because apparently I'm a bit high strung.
For those not following URPregnant on twitter (and if not, why not?) or Peeved Michelle on Twitter, Olivia T. Peever was born at 11:41 this morning. I will post updates on who won what in the baby pool once I know weight and length.
Olivia was born at 11:41. She weighed 8 lbs and 4 ozs and is 20.5 inches long. For the record, I was completely wrong. :)
So nobody got all 4 details... nobody even got 3 out of 4. Used to be me guessed the right day, Melissa got the right length, Julie got the right weight and close to the right time but Jen14221 got the time closest to the right time. A 4-way tie. I will have to contemplate how to resolve this.
Song lyrics of today's pop music often bring out my peeves. Here's a good one.
"Shush girl, shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips."
I should be happy that it's an educational song wherein kids today learn who Helen Keller was. But, WTF?!
Oh great, I just watched the video and now I'm even more annoyed.
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